5 Tips for Managing Anxiety

By now, most of us are probably able to recognize anxiety pretty well when we feel it, and if not, you can read my post about anxiety here. Science has shown us that we don’t want to get rid of anxiety all together because it can be helpful in increasing our productivity and ability to thrive in our daily lives when we are able to manage the anxiety we feel. We can think about these anxiety management strategies as breaking down into five different areas of life.

1. Genetics

We are all born with a genetic predisposition to experience anxiety (aka how attuned our nervous system is to potential threats in our environment). A great metaphor is to think of yourself as a cup that is partially full. Some people’s cups don’t have much in them and some people’s cups are quite full. We can think of this initial fullness level as how much anxiety you start the day with. If you’re a “less full” cup person, you can probably tolerate a lot of stress throughout your day before you overflow and experience anxiety or other emotions that feel difficult to handle. But if you’re a “more full” cup person, it’s going to take a lot less for your cup to overflow and for you to feel overwhelmed.

These initial levels of anxiety are important to understand because they’re not easily changeable, but clearly influence how people experience stress and anxiety. If you’re unsure how full your cup is (again, we’re actually talking about your genetic predisposition to anxiety), think about your parents and your grandparents. What do their stress levels and ability to tolerate anxiety seem to be? They are probably similar to yours.

2. Health Behaviors

Once we understand our genetics and what is out of our control, we can begin to focus on what is IN our control. First stop is our basic health behaviors of sleep, nutrition, and movement. Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a night, although people’s bodies vary and children and teenagers will need more sleep. Are you getting enough good quality sleep? And if not, what sleep hygiene behaviors need adjusting? Sleep allows our bodies and minds to rest and recuperate from the stress of our day. And not getting enough sleep actually makes us feel less capable of dealing with stressors, upping the anxiety we feel.

Adequate nutrition is also highly important for managing anxiety. In order for our bodies and minds to function properly, they have to have enough energy. Can you recall a time when you were under stress and forgot to eat or intentionally pushed off a meal? Did this hurt or help you in dealing with that stress? In general, good nutrition involves eating 3-5 balanced meals and snacks a day, which include complex carbohydrates (the body’s main fuel source), fruits, vegetables, protein, and fats. If you’re unsure how your eating habits might be affecting your health, it’s always a great idea to consult a registered dietician.

Lastly, joyful movement can do wonders in both preventing stress and bringing anxiety down when it is already present. More important than what you do to move is how you move. Does it bring you joy? Help you build strength, balance, coordination, flexibility, grace? Do you get your heart rate up at least some of the time? Are you focused on your breathing and how it feels to move your limbs through space in various ways? This kind of movement, and not necessarily the punishing exercise regimes we usually think about, is the most helpful for managing stress (and not adding stress).

3. Emotional Connection

Another really great way to manage big emotions is through emotional connection with others and talking it out. If you have trusted friends, family members, or even co-workers, lean on them for support. Be courageous in naming your feelings to another person and engaging them in deep, soulful conversations rather than shallow pleasantries. So many of the problems we experience in life do not actually require a solution. Rather, they become easier/more manageable/less scary when our fears and worries are truly heard and validated by a loving and supportive other. If you don’t feel that you have this type of relationship with anyone in your life currently, a good place to cultivate a relationship like this is in therapy. A therapist’s job is not to prescribe advice (and if your therapist is only doing this, yikes! Find somebody new) but rather to be that listening, empathetic ear and to show you unconditional love and acceptance. This allows us to feel heard, understood, validated, and connected to an important other.

4. Thought Patterns

This is a big one. Psychologists have long known that people’s thoughts are highly intertwined with their emotions, moods, and ways of being in relationships. That means that it’s very important to monitor your thought patterns and self-talk, and adjust them when necessary. Some common toxic thought patterns (that most people experience) are:

• Negative self-talk: harsh, critical, blaming thoughts that focus on the negative and cut us down

• All or nothing thinking: rigid thought patterns, such as “if it isn’t perfect, it’s a failure” or “it must be this way and there’s no other way”

• Discounting the positives: downplaying positive experiences as if they “don’t count” in light of negative experiences

• Overgeneralizing: using “always” and “never” rather than seeing the nuances of experience

This is not an exhaustive list of unhealthy thinking styles, but the first step to changing these patterns are to be able to catch them in the act. Notice where your thoughts go, how you talk to yourself, and what lenses you’re using to view your experiences. If your thoughts need adjusting, make a conscious effort to intentionally challenge and reframe unhelpful thinking patterns until it becomes more natural to think in more flexible and positive ways. Try to speak to yourself kindly and compassionately, as you would a child or loved one.

5. Mind-Body Connection

Our minds and our bodies are intimately connected, so much so that if our brain is saying, “help! I’m stressed!” (re: any of the thinking styles above), your body is also likely to manifest that anxiety physically. Likewise, sometimes your body (aka, your nervous system) can be reacting in a way that tells the brain to have anxious thoughts. In those moments, it can be beneficial to intentionally invoke the body’s “relaxation response” because your body cannot be both relaxed and anxious at the same time.  

We can take deliberate control of our nervous system through deep abdominal breathing. This type of breathing slows your heart rate and blood pressure, decreases muscle tension, and slows down the speed of your breath, all allowing your body to relax and your mind to follow. There are many types of activities that incorporate this type of relaxation effort, such as simply taking several minutes for slow deep breathes, progressive muscle relaxation and body scan exercises, various types of meditation and focusing practices, and movement-based practices like yoga and tai chi. If you’d like to take a moment to practice, you can follow the link here for a short, guided breathing exercise.

If you feel like your anxiety is overwhelming, connected to past trauma, causes you to engage in risky or unhealthy coping strategies, or is in any other way unmanageable, it might be time for you to consult with a therapist. If you’re in Austin, you can contact me at Deep Eddy Psychotherapy (512-956-6463) to schedule an initial appointment. If you live in the states of Texas (outside of Austin) or Florida and are interested in teletherapy appointments, feel free to contact me to discuss these services. For individuals living in other states, the best way to find a therapist is through the Find A Therapist tool on the Psychology Today website.